Being raped by another human is horrible but it can’t be worse than being raped by a dolphin.
Imagine swimming out in the ocean, possibly the most relaxing and beautiful place in the world. You see a beautiful coral reef underwater and then resurface before going back down. Before you can go back down, you hear “EEEK EEEEK EEEEEEK” as something wraps around your leg. Before you realize what’s happening, you get dragged underwater, you think that having a scuba tank will save you but it won’t, it only prolongs the nightmare.
You feel the rubbery skin of the thing dragging you underwater and you quickly reach a dark cave. You can’t see anything and all you can hear is “EEEEEK EEEK EEEEEK” as the the rubber skinned monsters surround you and start biting you and removing your clothes.
“EEEEEEK EEEEK EEEEEEK”
Your naked body is freezing in the warm, tropical waters and you can feel your orifices being painfully stretched and forcefully penetrated. Their members are hot, but their hearts are cold. “EEEK EEEEK EEEEKK” they squeal, they’re taking turns on you, enjoying themselves, indifferent to your suffering.
After 20 horrifying minutes, hours, or days, it doesn’t matter how much time passed, all you know is that your eternity of suffering is over. The dolphins throw you out of their rape cave and leave you for the ocean to take.
Whenever someone asks you how your trip to Florida was, all you can do is start crying as you relive every agonizing second when the dolphins took your soul and filled you up with suffering and sea-men
EEEEK EEEEEK EEEEEEEK
Zooey Deschanel celebrates the upcoming season of New Girl at FOX’s Fall Eco-Casino Party on Monday night (September 10) in Culver City, CA.
Zooey Deschanel - Cosmo October 2012
I bet they served hamburgers at the party.
“say hello to Bernie for me”
Or: How I Was Choked For Making a Joke at Everfree Northwest
We were there as fans of MLP:FiM who are not actively involved in the online fandom, and representing the con that we help run. Everfree NW had set up a table at our show, so we were setting up at theirs. We had a great time, tabling…
hnnnnngggg. this was well worth returning to tumblr for